Rite of passage

Today marks an important day in my life. I got a checkbook! I was afraid the teller would refuse my request after seeing the dismal state of my finances. What a relief when she nicely processed the whole thing. And then she asked terrible things like my Tin number and SSS. Like I'm a real adult. I mean, I used to have those transactions when I was working in my old company where there was a proper accountant. But now the situation is like:

(During coffee break in the office)

Me: "By the way, what about my SSS?"

B: "Yeah we need to take care of that."

Me: "Ok."

B: "I'll talk to the accountant."

Me: "Ok."

And that's been the routine for months now. So you see, I've got more important things to worry about than who gets to hoard my taxes this coming elections... like how to pay for them in the first place.

Going to the bank is really depressing; my bank balance is like a black and white picture of my success (more like failure) so far. Having to face that reality makes me feel like an adult, but not just yet. I still believe I'm not officially one until I'm paying for credit card bills, which I have also applied for-- ironically because I'm determined to save up... starting TODAY!

What keeps me going

Even though my mom hates what I do, and my dad doesn't believe in what I do, everytime I create something, it's enough.

Maybe one day, I can make something really beautiful and everyone will see that I'm on to something... that I've been on to something all along. Maybe I'm not just a crazy person who doesn't want to get sucked into the bloodless (or bloody, depending on your interpretation) corporate world.

If nothing comes out of trying, I would've still learned something in the end.

Why does the sun go on shining?

Do you know what it's like to be told that, after all--at least according to Chinese gods--you are not meant to be with the person you love? I have always regarded the temple my family goes to with respect akin to fear. For a time I stopped going, especially when I started taking Theology in college and began to understand my religion more. I don't even know who I'm praying to in there, and I have a suspicion "they" have never understood my prayers which are seldom in Chinese.

Here's what it I feel like doing now:

1. Rip my heart out and watch until it stops beating in my hand.
2. Ask who the hell is writing the rules up there.
3. And then ask why he or she bothered to let us meet in the first place.
4. Convince myself that the prediction is stupid. Surely any religion that offers predictions is a work of the devil!
5. Find someone who can tell me such.
6. Die. Just die right now. Life can't go on.

All my life I've had little faith in love. Are they going to completely take it away from me?

It's been such a depressing day. Name the worst thunderstorm of 2009 (ok, it was Ondoy...) and it wouldn't compare to the dark clouds over my head and the thunder and lightning in my heart.

Did you know what my dad suggested today? That I take up nursing. That is how much of a failure I am.

My first-- but definitely not last-- rally race

The automotive people is a real fun crowd. I just came home from the 2010 STV Auto Rally Corporate Challenge, a revival of the "sampaguita rally" which is a major motor sport event during the 60s.

As usual, I agreed to B's proposition to be his teammate without full comprehension of what I was getting myself into. Little did I know that 65 automobiles would be joining the event, making for the "biggest-ever"starting grid from 13 teams representing major car manufacturers and dealers in the Philippines. It is "a milestone in the country's motor sports history and one of the biggest events of the local auto industry for this year," according to STV President Mr. Butch Gamboa. Of course, when I found out, I was already there, a notebook and a calculator rattling in my bag at an ungodly hour of 5am.

From cute Kia units to Porsches, every major car brand was there. Fortunately the model of the car really didn't matter (although I imagine it wouldn't hurt to be sitting in a Porsche or Audi for one whole day of driving, and their hi-tech features would definitely be an advantage).

The contest is not based on speed but on the concept of being "on time, all the time." I'm too lazy to describe what we did today, so I'll just put the link to Mr. Butch Gamboa's article here.

I was part of team Universal Motors Corp., so B and I drove a Navarra provided by Nissan. We took turns being the driver and navigator. While I enjoyed the scenic drive to Subic for the transport stage, I had fun navigating as well. I must say it improved my directing skills (I always confuse left and right turn), and I had forgotten how exciting it can be to solve math problems. Math is the only thing in the world that doesn't lie. Math is our friend.

We made some mistakes that cost us the chance to be declared champion, but the beautiful views, the pleasure of meeting great people from various industries, and the excitement of not only being in close proximity with dreamy cars but driving with them, makes it all worth it.

More important, it gave B and I the opportunity to work together towards achieving something. I thought we'd be at each other's necks by the end of the day, but I was surprised at how harmonious and agreeable we turned out to be. I guess that happens when two people have a shared respect for each other's abilities.

Anyway, to conclude, this event taught me a very important lesson. No, B and I are hopeless at being on time, any time. Haha! :D

Blooming carnations

B wanted to know if the carnations bloomed after all. I put them in the vase last Saturday (he gave them Friday night).

Yes, they bloomed. Orange and green is the new yellow and pink (says me). :)

The best gifts are those given just because

Thank you. For the flowers and just because. I'm glad you're coming home.

P.S. I took good care of the flowers this time, changing the water and trimming the stems and everything. :)