I told B my theory about how women get themselves stuck with guys they’re not really that into because we can settle. I pointed out that if you look around plenty of women can do better than their current partners, some of which even treat them like dirt.
He said, “Those women like being treated as dirt.” He proved it with examples from experience (not of him, obviously!)
I said, “Maybe they like being dominated by men?”
He said, “But we’re not here to dominate each other.”
So I ask, is there some part in every woman that secretly likes being treated badly? Maybe women “get it” when a guy’s not too into them, but they just refuse to see it until it punches them in the face. Is that part of women’s longing for drama???
ORRR.... I'm dwelling on this movie too much, no?
Friday, February 27, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
HJNTIY continued...
Do we always know how much we (girls) are into someone? For a guy it's simple, eirther he's there 100% or not at all. Guys won't waste time (and money) on someone they don't really dig. For girls, it can be confusing and arbitrary and I think it's because we settle. Guys don't settle. Really. Most girls can do better than the partner they have, but we're too sentimental and sensitive to leave them out cold, and we feel guilty when we ask ourselves, "Is he the best I can do??" Guys ask themselves that all the time.
We're also considerate out of compassion, that's why we wonder why losers we've turned down a hundred times keep coming back all hopeful, as if there's a psychological barrier and we're just not getting through. We also wonder why some guys assume we like them even though we just don't want to hurt their feelings, and by the time they've told all their pals how we're head over heels for them, we know it's too late.
You'd think He's Just Not That Into You is a condescending movie telling women who "don't get it" to pick up the right signals and read them properly. But actually part of its message is empowering: learn to tell who is worthy of your time and energy, and chuck those who don't recognize your value-- even if it's your husband.
We're also considerate out of compassion, that's why we wonder why losers we've turned down a hundred times keep coming back all hopeful, as if there's a psychological barrier and we're just not getting through. We also wonder why some guys assume we like them even though we just don't want to hurt their feelings, and by the time they've told all their pals how we're head over heels for them, we know it's too late.
You'd think He's Just Not That Into You is a condescending movie telling women who "don't get it" to pick up the right signals and read them properly. But actually part of its message is empowering: learn to tell who is worthy of your time and energy, and chuck those who don't recognize your value-- even if it's your husband.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
He's Just Not That Into You
I just came home from watching He's Just Not That Into You. I think I'm going to become Jennifer Connelly's character when I get married, but right now I'm trying to be Jennifer Aniston with my relationship. But here's the thing, is it weird that I can identify with Scarlett Johansson's character? In the movie, Anna (Scarlett) is a yoga instructor/struggling musician who falls in-like with a married man. It turns out the married man is the husband of Connelly, who happens to be the type don't mess around with-- OC, controlling, tightly wound kind of wife. Connelly and Jennifer Aniston are coworkers and close friends. Aniston plays a character reminiscent to that of The Breakup, except Ben Affleck (yes, he's in the movie; funny how no one seemed to think it's important to mention it) isn't a jerk which Aniston realizes only towards the end.
Watching the movie made me realize I sort of miss dating. I miss knowing that every guy is a possibility, and everyday something magical can happen. Err, ok that sounds too romantic. What I really think is that dating, whether good or bad, always leaves us with interesting stories to tell later on. The idea of getting to know someone outside of your world can be scary, but that's what makes it exciting-- the thrill of the unfamiliar. You only get harmed in dating when you overthink and assume too much, hence the necessity for someone to write the book "he's just not that into you."
I got to thinking if I ever had that kind of experience, and sadly I have. It was early last year and I was dating this guy N--. We went out a couple of times and I genuinely thought we had something promising, until I found out he just broke up with a girl right after our second date. Looking back, I don't know if that's even true. Anyway, we went out for more than a month until Valentine's season. Even though he didn't profess adoration, he gave all the signals that he was into me. Needless to say, I expected something on Valentine's day, but I got nil (maybe he actually still was with his ex that time that's why he couldn't ask me out). At least my eyes were wide open to the truth and I dropped him quickly. Can't say it didn't hurt though... well, more on the ego really. Now we are only friends through Facebook, and I keep seeing photos of him with his girlfriend. He seems happy, which is why I was puzzled when just the other day he texted me asking how I was. I had already lost his number so when he told me his name, I pretended it didn't register. He tried to engage me in small talk until eventually he asked for my Yahoo! Messenger ID, (I didn't reply). See, men.
Going back to the movie, it's fun to catch with girlfriends. I would've appreciated it more if I was single, yet I'm glad I'm through all that... uncertainty and self-doubt. There's just one thing that's been bugging me. I walked out of the theater thinking, sure a girl should know if a guy's not that into you, but do you always know how much you yourself are into someone?
(To be continued...)
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Work rants
We have this new project coordinator and I've been tasked to train her for three weeks. Now I'm training her and doing most of her work because there's really no time for trial and error with all our deadlines. I'm teaching her web planning skills because she has zero web firm experience. But on top of that I'm also teaching her [advanced] powerpoint skills.
I just have one question, is it fair that she's getting paid more than I am???
I just have one question, is it fair that she's getting paid more than I am???
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Morning power walk
I need a break from work. So... I'm going to write about the benefits of power walking in Makati. People are confounded when they find out I deliberately take the longer route to my office, which adds 10-15 minutes of brisk walking to the otherwise 3 minutes leisurely walk from my stop.
What's good about walking to work:
1. Duh, it's exercise. Sure your hair's not as perfect by the time you get to the office, but it's absolutely invigorating.
2. I don't crave for coffee after my power walk. Something about sweating and drinking coffee afterwards doesn't mix.
3. You get to appraise people's outfits along Ayala, and sometimes you even get ideas! Honestly, it's practically a fashion show.
4. You get to take mental snapshots of outfits you like.. and sometimes even those you don't. I once saw a girl crossing Paseo de Roxas who was wearing such a tight skirt I could almost hear her thighs protesting, and an imaginary ripping sound.
5. You get good morning greetings from strangers. You don't have to greet back all the time, but it feels nice.
6. The park near my office. Gosh I love that park in the morning. I always fight the urge to stop and sit for a while, just enjoying the morning sun (while prissy dogs are all around with their yayas).
7. It makes you feel grown up in a "making it in the big city" kind of way. Of course I'm hardly "making it," but sometimes you can almost believe you are. Tuck a copy of Business Mirror or Times under your arm and watch how people suddenly treat you respectfully-- and how confident you feel. Just don't bump into someone who will most likely talk to you about the headlines-- or worse, the opinion section.
What's good about walking to work:
1. Duh, it's exercise. Sure your hair's not as perfect by the time you get to the office, but it's absolutely invigorating.
2. I don't crave for coffee after my power walk. Something about sweating and drinking coffee afterwards doesn't mix.
3. You get to appraise people's outfits along Ayala, and sometimes you even get ideas! Honestly, it's practically a fashion show.
4. You get to take mental snapshots of outfits you like.. and sometimes even those you don't. I once saw a girl crossing Paseo de Roxas who was wearing such a tight skirt I could almost hear her thighs protesting, and an imaginary ripping sound.
5. You get good morning greetings from strangers. You don't have to greet back all the time, but it feels nice.
6. The park near my office. Gosh I love that park in the morning. I always fight the urge to stop and sit for a while, just enjoying the morning sun (while prissy dogs are all around with their yayas).
7. It makes you feel grown up in a "making it in the big city" kind of way. Of course I'm hardly "making it," but sometimes you can almost believe you are. Tuck a copy of Business Mirror or Times under your arm and watch how people suddenly treat you respectfully-- and how confident you feel. Just don't bump into someone who will most likely talk to you about the headlines-- or worse, the opinion section.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
You don't have to agree but one day you'll see
If there's thing I would like to impart about relationships, the best part is the single and dating period.
During the dating stage, you both put the best of all your body parts forward (ok that didn't sound right, but you know what I mean). Once you enter into a relationship, all the ugliness begin to show.
My college Philosophy professor said, "Kaya nga nagliligawan e, nililigaw niyo ang isa't isa." If you're looking for kilig, then a date is all you need. Once you're ready to come down to earth from cloud nine, that's the time to get a boyfriend.
During the dating stage, you both put the best of all your body parts forward (ok that didn't sound right, but you know what I mean). Once you enter into a relationship, all the ugliness begin to show.
My college Philosophy professor said, "Kaya nga nagliligawan e, nililigaw niyo ang isa't isa." If you're looking for kilig, then a date is all you need. Once you're ready to come down to earth from cloud nine, that's the time to get a boyfriend.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Just sharing
This Saturday, I will be getting my certificate for completing the course Korean Language for Beginners. It's not so hard to learn Korean, especially if you have a background in Mandarin and Japanese. I wish I tried harder with Mandarin in grade school and high school, though. If you're good at Mandarin, learning Cantonese, Japanese and Korean is a piece of cake.
I like Japanese language better than Korean. All the -ng and -yeo sounds feel strange to pronounce naturally. Japanese is spoken sharply, with very hard consonants. I guess it's a little similar to Filipino where you can seldom form a word without hard consonants like k, t and r. Come to think of it, Mandarin's like that too. My Mandarin name is pronounced as Lin Rong Zhu. In Korean, it is pronounced as Yim Yong Ju. Quite cute, actually. In general, girls have more y's in their names, like Yebin and Yeon Joo. In fact, the Korean word for female is yo ja.
There's going to be an intermediate class that will run from February until March. I don't know if the company will sponsor another course, but first and foremost I need to know what I'm going to do with my Korean language skill now. I wonder if this really adds value to my resume?
By the way, I've completed 30 days without junk food yesterday-- well, minus popcorn. But popcorn is not junkfood! It's whole grain, right? :D So what is the effect of eliminating junk food from one's diet? Basically-- and this isn't even a surprise-- less water retention. If you ate a lot the previous night for example, you don't feel bloated the next day. It doesn't matter if you do look bloated or not. Sometimes, the mere feeling ruins the day (enter Nesvita). Other than that, I can't identify the rewards. But instead of craving junk food at the end of the 30th day like what happens with prolonged deprivation, I actually feel like continuing the act. Junk food still has its appeal-- I loOove my junk food-- but knowing I can live without it gives me liberation, exactly like when I abandoned the boob-tube and the theater for a month last year. Between giving up junk food and TV though, I don't need to tell you which one required more will power!
I like Japanese language better than Korean. All the -ng and -yeo sounds feel strange to pronounce naturally. Japanese is spoken sharply, with very hard consonants. I guess it's a little similar to Filipino where you can seldom form a word without hard consonants like k, t and r. Come to think of it, Mandarin's like that too. My Mandarin name is pronounced as Lin Rong Zhu. In Korean, it is pronounced as Yim Yong Ju. Quite cute, actually. In general, girls have more y's in their names, like Yebin and Yeon Joo. In fact, the Korean word for female is yo ja.
There's going to be an intermediate class that will run from February until March. I don't know if the company will sponsor another course, but first and foremost I need to know what I'm going to do with my Korean language skill now. I wonder if this really adds value to my resume?
By the way, I've completed 30 days without junk food yesterday-- well, minus popcorn. But popcorn is not junkfood! It's whole grain, right? :D So what is the effect of eliminating junk food from one's diet? Basically-- and this isn't even a surprise-- less water retention. If you ate a lot the previous night for example, you don't feel bloated the next day. It doesn't matter if you do look bloated or not. Sometimes, the mere feeling ruins the day (enter Nesvita). Other than that, I can't identify the rewards. But instead of craving junk food at the end of the 30th day like what happens with prolonged deprivation, I actually feel like continuing the act. Junk food still has its appeal-- I loOove my junk food-- but knowing I can live without it gives me liberation, exactly like when I abandoned the boob-tube and the theater for a month last year. Between giving up junk food and TV though, I don't need to tell you which one required more will power!
Monday, February 2, 2009
It's all about the money - Meja
I sometimes wonder if it's better to bite the bullet and go into retail. My cousin capped off the first month of 2009 with P50,000 extra money by selling diet pills online. She sells those Chinese diet pills that are not approved by BFAD but have a huge following from women of all ages. She posts the products on her Multiply account and accepts payment via bank deposit. She gets customers from the next city to as far as Sweden. The best thing about her business is it's all done in the convenience of her home. She just calls the bank to check if a deposit was made, calls the courier to have the items picked up from her house and do her sales talk in forums. The only time she needs to get out of the house is to get fresh supplies from the Chinese drugstore-- oh wait, the maid does that for her too.
I accompanied my friend to the NU Skin office in Makati during lunch break. Inside, there's a poster of a girl who is the cousin of a common friend. She gets to appear on a poster because she just became a millionaire at the age of 27, all because of joining the US networking company. I don't know what her previous job was, but she left that to sell beauty products. I'm talking direct selling. Complete with demos. To think the girl comes from a well-off family. And now, she's among the youngest self-made millionaires in the country.
My dad is offering me a space to open up a shop. My aunt, who operates a shop next door, says money is so easy in that business. Last December, she was counting P100,000 every hour. She had to move money around banks at the end of each week. And she's not even trying to be competitive anymore because of her age.
It's all very tempting. Yet, it can't really be that easy, can it?
I accompanied my friend to the NU Skin office in Makati during lunch break. Inside, there's a poster of a girl who is the cousin of a common friend. She gets to appear on a poster because she just became a millionaire at the age of 27, all because of joining the US networking company. I don't know what her previous job was, but she left that to sell beauty products. I'm talking direct selling. Complete with demos. To think the girl comes from a well-off family. And now, she's among the youngest self-made millionaires in the country.
My dad is offering me a space to open up a shop. My aunt, who operates a shop next door, says money is so easy in that business. Last December, she was counting P100,000 every hour. She had to move money around banks at the end of each week. And she's not even trying to be competitive anymore because of her age.
It's all very tempting. Yet, it can't really be that easy, can it?
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