So I bought a pack of Marlboro Lights in menthol yesterday. Is it just me or did that Mini Stop counter guy look at me funny? It's that thing when you're doing something "bad" as an amateur: you feel like everyone's judging you.
A lot of people don't like menthol but I was surprised that I do. It feels clean in the mouth, but I couldn't take the smell of smoke our of my hair and fingers. Ew. I haven't proved that it curbs appetite yet, mostly because I didn't have appetite to begin with yesterday. I had a nice moment, though, with my second stick.
I have this secret place I like to go to after gym. I sneak up to this building's rooftop and just enjoy the view of Makati laid out below. From there I can see lights coming from as far as Guadalupe to probably Paranaque. The sight just takes away all my tiredness every time.
So yesterday after gym I went there. I stood at the edge of the rooftop, cigarette stick in hand, the wind blowing on my face. Lights glittered red, yellow and orange as far as the eye can see. It was a serene moment and in a flash I formed a movie plot in my head. I myself felt as if I was in this tragic movie. And with the cigarette in my fingers, all that was lacking was French music to feel like Paris. I felt so grown up, not so much because of smoking, but because my lonesomeness was more pronounced up there. For this confused, metro generation, being alone can be mistaken for sophistication, and cynicism for maturity.
But today, I don't think I can stop my appetite even if I finished the entire pack of cancer sticks. I just got my period so hello, hormones! I read that when you have your period, your estrogen level is low so you eat more because it takes more to make you feel good. Even if this isn't true, I take it as a precaution. Trust me, you don't want to see Sel cranky!
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