Tuesday, November 4, 2008

This state... this blasted state...

I am scared.

It frightens me to catch myself smiling involuntarily. I'm mostly disoriented or distracted at work. When I'm not ecstatic, I'm scared.

I was preparing for the worst. But I'm getting the best that I could hope for.

What's the catch? Where's the sign that says, "Show's over. Just kidding!"?

My friend says I'm a cynic. But in order to be happy I need to let myself be vulnerable.

"He's never given me a single compliment!" I complained once, without foresight.

"Uuuy, nagiging vulnerable na sya!" my friend said gleefully.

I've been idiotic before. I guess I don't want to be an idiot again.

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