Ever since I started reading about Buddhism, I feel lighter and more at peace. It all came about fortuitously, at a time when I need a middle ground perspective of right and wrong amidst extreme teachings like the church and skewed sources like unsolicited advice and the media.
It was a holiday and my friends and I climbed up Tagaytay for some R&R. We had finished lunch and were on the hunt for a good place to have coffee. Everyone had Bag of Beans in mind, but the main branch was full and didn't have parking space (as expected). Somehow through road signs, we were informed that Bag of Beans has a second branch in a hotel further off.
We trooped to the newly constructed hotel that was farther than the usual establishments I'd seen there. The extra distance was very much worth it. The place sat on the edge of the lake overlooking Taal volcano. We had front row view of it inside Bag of Beans (well almost, as there was a garden before the edge of the cliff). The hotel looked nice and new, but the best part was the quiet and solitude because there were only a few guests. For a time Bag of Beans was all ours.
Before we went in the coffee shop, we noticed piles of books outside. A sign said "Get one, it's free". I didn't pay attention to it but B got one copy. It turned out to be a book on Buddhism, and we learned that the owner of the hotel is a Buddhist who also owns a publishing house.
The book didn't seem interesting, but one day I needed a reading material in the bathroom (sheepish grin). The big text and easy English made it nice to read, and before long I was hooked.
Because of Buddhism, I look at relationships with others differently, and consequently, watch my actions more carefully. We do harm to others because of our ignorance that everyone is connected. We do not realize the effect of our actions on others and vice versa. This ignorance is the root of arrogance and pride.
Buddhist teachings remind me not to get too attached or give undue attention on things. Whatever pleases is temporary; everything we have we eventually lose. Because nothing really belongs to us and we never remain the same, we are not different from poor people who have nothing. In fact we are one in that we grow old, get weak and die.
We use family, education and experience to help us become wise so that we may share our wisdom to others. But even those who did not have education and wealth can be enlightened and can have more things to teach us. On this note, I think this is the point why people shouldn't be cooped up in the shelter of their own home/family. The more grit and grime there is in the world, the more chances we have to experience poverty, betrayal, loneliness, embarrassment and failure. These cause suffering that make us realize our weaknesses in lieu of self pride/arrogance. If we never experience these things, our understanding of the world would be theoretical as we only rely on hearsay, the media, and our personal historicity. This causes us to have a hard time giving advice to others because of misunderstandings or harsh judgments.
Because everyone is interconnected, we must strive for harmony. We must always keep open, reminding ourselves that people also change. Someone might have been deceitful before, but it's never too late to turn into an honest man. Someone might have been foolish before, but one day she will mature. No matter who made a mistake, we mustn't close doors. The world is designed to regenerate, not disintegrate. We rebuild relationships by having faith... Faith that the other approaches with a fully open heart, faith that things could be made better together, faith that love is stronger than obstacles.
There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills.
Buddha
I haven't finished the book, but I look forward to reading several pages a week as a spiritual refuge. I wonder how long it would take before the teachings manifest in my relationships... especially one relationship I desperately want to salvage...
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