You know what I miss? I miss not being in a relationship. I miss getting invited to dinner, and actually wondering if it's worth my time. I miss getting picked up by a strange car, and introducing a stranger to my friends.
I miss the unpredictability of my days, when I can be going out with this person this month and someone else the next.
I guess what I really miss is being uncommitted. There's all this pressure and expectations in a relationship. Expectations only set you up for disappointment, and after the 100th time you think you've learned your lesson, but you can't help it.
I'm being really negative right now. I'm seriously considering getting out of this thing while I still can. Why do I want to be hitched this early? Why would anyone want to get hitched at all?
Nobody's perfect, I know. But what if some days all you can see about each other are their flaws, and how you don't have to deal with those flaws? You don't have to accept, settle, whatever.
And so what if he thinks the same way about you. Yeah of course you're flawed too. Hello, being barely mid twenties allows you to have flaws, to be much more underdeveloped. But at least you're still malleable. And anyway what matters is you right? This is your life you're surrendering.
What if you change your mind?
What if I don't want to deal with all this anymore?
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