So far not getting far

When I go to the gym and use the treadmill, I make it a point to run at least three kilometers. At a relaxed pace, I might make it in thirty minutes. But I prefer to pump up the speed so I'll get there sooner, even if it's just ten minutes. The sweat glistening on my face and all over my arms is proof that I made it the hard way.

It's the same with my desire to reach self actualization. I'll get there, I know. Maybe as late as when I already have a family of my own. But I'd prefer to finish everything as a bachelorette. Having achieved that, I can put it behind me and focus on a new life shared with another person.

I thought I have all the time in the world. Why do I feel like it's slipping from my fingers?

Right now the need to achieve something is more pressing than ever. It doesn't help that B pointedly said I'm lost. After all this time since my last job, I can't believe I still am. I thought he'd found me, but he's just a companion for the journey.

I wonder whether I'm on the road at all???

If this is The Process, why is feeling like a talentless, pointless person taking so much part in it? How come other people don't have to go through this?

I think this only happens to Chinese kids who don't have their parents' business to inherit.

This is getting to be a repetitive, boring topic, and I know you're tired of it. I should put a label for these kinds of posts so you can avoid them, in case you're browsing through the blog archive.

I hope my movie date tomorrow will distract me from all these troubles. I'm the only person I know who hasn't seen Sherlock Holmes. I can't wait to watch the new Disney movie! Oh, and I'm so excited about getting the Montero Sport tomorrow! :D