I took a sick leave from work yesterday, feigning PMS. It's my last week at work, and usually one would want to maximize the time left, right? I know that once I step out that door, I can never come back (except to get my backpay). But I'm only getting impatient for the week to end, and to get a move on. To what? you ask. To the next chapter of my life.
I finished reading The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold yesterday morning. It's the story of a young girl who got raped and killed, and how she watched over her family from heaven. According to the book, heaven is different for each person. The heroine's heaven, for example, is a high school where she only has to attend art class, and where there are swing sets and nice grassy fields. Whatever you desire will be there, as long as you understand why you desire it.
The story almost convinced me that people who pass away really do look upon the living, watching us, moving with us somehow. When we utter prayers for them, honor their memories, they become full of energy. They can visit us and show themselves to us as they please, but often they don't want to scare us. They can read our minds, but they can't put thoughts into our heads, or affect our decisions. They can stop rain and thunderclap when a moment is important, like when you're about to get your first kiss. I haven't had anyone close to me pass away, and I hope I won't anytime soon. I like to think that when someone I love dies, s/he moves on and gets to be infinitely happy, instead of living vicariously through me.
I imagine my heaven to have a theater with all kinds of films, and unlimited popcorn. The popcorn will be dispensed by a high-tech machine that has every flavor possible in the world. There will also be a community library, as beautiful as the ones in the Vatican, or those in British universities. And I'll live in a village exactly similar to where Kiki lives in Kiki's Delivery Service. Maybe she'll even be there. Oh and the mornings are extra long, because I'm a morning person. And I can take three breakfasts without feeling full.
But it's still sad, isn't it? Never being able to touch a person you love again. Seeing your parents get by, grow old, and wait for them in heaven. Thank God for waking up in this hellhole everyday.
